Do You Feel Delayed?

Today I woke up in a major rush to get to work. I was up late “working”—which is code for watching my favorite show, Defiance, on Amazon Prime. Needless to say, when my alarm went off, I may have hit the snooze button one too many times.

Once I finally got up, I gargled and ran out of the house like my nonexistent hair was on fire—brushing my teeth while taking Selina, my dog, out to poop. Forgetting the green potty bags, I came back up the stairs to my apartment, finished brushing my teeth, and fed the dog. By then it was nearly 7:10 a.m. Yikes! I forgot the potty bags again—and even forgot I was supposed to go back down to clean up her poop.

I headed to work around 7:14 a.m., blazing down my inner-city street—right turn, left turn, hit the gas—only to see, in the distance, the red flashers and lowering arms of the train crossing. You have got to be pooping me!

Never one to miss an opportunity to share my thoughts, I turned on Facebook Live and started streaming about the crazy morning I was having. In the vlog I told the world—or at least anyone who was up watching—about how life sometimes decides to delay you. I shared three ways to handle those delays.

1) Get emotional (then get over it).

Ever meet someone who is always angry, bitter, anxious, or depressed? Chances are, something in their life was delayed—joy, fulfillment, closure, forgiveness. Believe it or not, I actually recommend getting emotional and getting it out. But after you get it out, you’ve got to get over it. Why spend the life you’ve been blessed with today mourning yesterday’s delays? Doing so only causes further delays and more agony. It’s far better to get angry, cry, scream, yell, kick the couch, take a run, join a gym—whatever releases those emotions in a positive way—and then move on.

2) Realign your goals.

So you’re not a wealthy thirty-something with a house, a wife, a kid, and a dog—or a powerful businesswoman conquering the world at thirty-nine. So what? Create new goals and chase those. If you’re depressed that you didn’t hit your twenty-year-old self’s thirty-year-old goals, ask yourself: Is the twenty-year-old version of you even the same person as the thirty-year-old version trying to achieve them now? You may be chasing a broken paradigm—or you may not have accounted for the fact that life happens. My dad got sick in Louisiana, and I had to leave Virginia to help, selling off all my businesses and using all my savings to facilitate the move. Life happens. Adjust fire, set new goals, and move forward in the joy of the Lord. Life is a moving target; if you don’t adjust fire every now and then, you’ll always miss the mark.

3) Double down.

Maybe the forty-year-old you still wants to achieve the goals the twenty-year-old you set. That’s perfectly fine. Sit down, write the vision—make it plain, as the Bible says—and push forward. Realignment means setting new PUSH goals (goals that push you), whereas doubling down forces you to concentrate your efforts and make radical, life-disrupting changes to achieve the goals you already have. If radical, cycle-destroying habits aren’t created, the life cycle you’re in will never be broken—and a new paradigm will never emerge. Your current life has its own gravity, and you have to launch a radical rocket to break through that pull.

I have a friend who wants to be an event planner, but the gravity in her life keeps pulling her toward being an executive administrator. Unless she fuels up her radical rocket and does something bold, risky, and daring, she’ll die as some man’s personal assistant. That’s not bad for someone who wants to be a PA, but it’s life-destroying for someone whose dream is not to be a PA. It takes radical behavior to break the cycle of a delayed life.

Three ways to handle delays—choose one, but not the first one!

Habakkuk 2:2 (NASB)

“Then the LORD answered me and said, ‘Record the vision

And inscribe it on tablets,

That the one who reads it may run.’”

Nehemiah 8:10 (NIV)

“Nehemiah said, ‘Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.’”